Dream

In my dream last night, Derek died in a car accident. I was told (by who? I don't know) that I could choose one time, ONE TIME, that I could call him in heaven and talk to him.

Life kind of went on, I went to school (I'm not sure why I didn't picture a baby in my future life, maybe because I don't actually have one right now), I started dating this guy and I kept comparing him to Derek. He just wasn't good enough. Nice, sure. But not good enough.

I was sitting in a class and just starting crying hysterically. I ran to the bathroom and decided to use my one phone call. I called and Derek answered and I told him how much I missed him and how I was dating this guy but I couldn't get over the fact that it wasn't HIM! He tried to tell me everything was going to be OK, that he wanted me to date other guys and that he LOVED heaven (that was the funniest part of the dream).

I woke up and just started bawling. Even now as I write this, tears are welling up in my eyes. I'm trying to think that the meaning of the dream was to be more grateful for Derek and not for me to get ready for his death...

Truly, I am so completely lucky and blessed. To have someone like Derek in my life is the biggest blessing I could have ever imagined. He is EVERYTHING!!! How in the world did I get so lucky?

Love you, doll!