Enough

The sweetest thing just happened.  I ran upstairs because I heard Sam crying.  Her light was still off so I knew before entering that she had indeed fallen asleep when I put her to bed.  When I opened the door, she was sitting cross-legged on her bed with tears running down her face.  Upon seeing me, she immediately stopped crying.  I asked her what was wrong as I was walking towards her and the only thing she did was lie back down on her pillow with a big yawn.  I started rubbing her back as her eyes began to droop.  She was back asleep and snoring within minutes.  As I sat there looking at my little 2 year old, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly blessed.  I just
stared at my beautiful girl and knew my life, in this moment, was perfect.  She drives me nuts most days, tests my patience every day, and yet, as I looked at her, I knew how blessed of a life I was living.

As I looked at her, I began thinking about myself as a mother. I began thinking about all the things that I wish I did better because my sweet little Samantha deserves the best.  I thought about regrets.  I thought about what I could do to be all that I could for her.  And then I stopped.  I looked at her and I stopped thinking those things.  I'm not perfect.  I know that.  You know that.  We all know that.  But, I'm enough.  I looked at her and I thought about the fact that all she needed when she woke up upset was to see me.  She saw me and was comforted immediately.  She laid back down and fell asleep immediately, knowing that I was there to watch her and comfort her.  I was enough.  And I am enough.

I think as moms, we are the worst at this.  We constantly think about how imperfect we are, and what we can do to become more perfect as mothers.  We want the best for our kids, right?  So we want to be the best for our kids.  But we need to stop that.  Of course it's okay to strive to be better each day; I'm not saying that.  But, we need to stop giving ourselves such a hard time.  We are enough for our kids.  We are what they need.  We are doing our best and we need to stop beating ourselves up for the things we do wrong.

I love my kids.  I love them more than anything.  They know that.  And that's enough!

A Girl and Her Teddy Bear--2 Months

Baby girl is 2 months old already.  Where the time goes, I never know! It's been a good month.  The weather's (kind of) changing, Sam has gotten used to having baby around so there have been less gauging eyes out and hitting, and Maya's just as perfect as she's always been!

*Edit* As of her 2 month appointment, Maya weighs 11 lbs 10 oz.  

Sam had to get in on the action

I put Maya down to go upload the photos and Samantha brought the teddy next to her and also put the blanket on her so "she doesn't get cold!" What a dear sister she is!

Maya definitely smiles a lot more now.  Daddy can get her to smile (and even do a little giggle) the best by doing bicycle legs with her.  She loves that!

She's starting to have a lot to say.  Her little coos melt my heart.  I love this part of this age.  I love how she's starting to interact with us.  It's so sweet.  

Maya's still a great sleeper, only eating once during the night.  She typically goes to sleep for the night any time between 8-9 and I'll dream feed her at 10:30-11.  Then, she'll wake up at 3-4 and then not wake for the morning until 7.  It's pretty doable.  She's also stopped needing me to put her soother in all the time throughout the night.  Occasionally, she'll wake up prematurely, so I'll just stick it in there and go back to bed.  

We switched her to her bassinet at 6 weeks and she made the transition beautifully.  In fact, she sleeps better there than anywhere.  

She has put herself to sleep since we brought her home and that is very helpful.  I just swaddle her and put her down with her soother and she just drifts off to sleep by herself.  Love it.  

She's still eating every 3-31/2 hours, which is very helpful for me.  It means I can get a lot of things done, which has helped with my mental health!!

Trip to Costco!

She's getting really good at holding her head up, so I thought I'd try her in the Boba carrier.  

First time in the bumbo.

Sisters

It got warm for a whole of 2 days, and we very much took advantage of it. (It's snowing as I type...)

Outfit courtesy of my mom.  So adorable. 

Had to get a closeup of these adorable shoes.  You can't tell because Maya's feet are still too small, but they're little sandals.  It's supposed to be a little peek-a-boo shoe.  

We're hoping the weather goes back to being nice so we can spend more time in the sunshine!