Time

Even as I write this, I can't stop thinking to myself: Samantha's asleep, I could/should be doing this, this, this or this.  But, I'm writing a blog post.

Time has come to mean something very different to me since Sammie was born. In fact, the last year has been quite interesting when it comes to time.

When we moved to Canada, I was forbidden to work or go to school.  I had all of the time in the world, and nothing to do with it.  I tried to stay busy; I did a lot of my favorite hobbies, but I found that when all you do is your hobbies, they don't feel like hobbies anymore.  To be honest, I am not really sure how I spent my 6 months of complete and utter time.  I found that when I have so much time but nothing to do with it, it can be difficult to stay happy.  I think I did an okay job with it, but it was hard.

Now I have the opposite problem.  For a long time, Samantha would not be put down, even when she was asleep.  She would wake up the minute I put her down, and if she did sleep without being held, it was only for like 15-20 minutes.  She's better now; in fact, she can be put down before she's asleep and can fall asleep somewhat on her own.  She still only sleeps for 30 minutes to an hour at a time. (She's had a couple of days where her afternoon nap is like 2-3 hours which has been nice).  Anyway, what I'm saying is I don't have all that much time in the day! And when it's interrupted so very often, it makes it difficult to do anything at all.  (Sometimes, my shower/getting ready time is spanned over 2 naps, which is like a 2-3 hour period...)

I'm not going to lie, it does stress me out a bunch.  I've got a lot of things that HAVE to get done.  My immigration papers, Samantha's U.S. citizenship, her passport (which we did end up getting done, thank goodness), taxes, etc., etc.  These things can't get done in a 30 minute nap so often, it takes me all day to get just a little bit of one thing done.  I mean, I've been working on my immigration stuff since she was about 6 weeks old.  And, it's still not done.  It's certainly stressful.  And, it can be difficult to stay happy.

I just have to remember how precious she is to me.  I have to remember how much I yearned for her to be here in my life.  I have to remember that if you had asked me a year ago, I would have given anything to be exactly where I am right now.  I am lucky, I am blessed, I am extremely grateful.

Stressed? Yes! Not able to get much done in a day? Definitely Yes! But happy, blessed and humbled? A thousand times YES!!!

I wouldn't trade any of it for the world!