A Bit Jumbled...

I love teaching! I really do have one of the best classes. Yeah, they are certainly a talkative bunch but they just haven't learned how I want things done. I'll teach them, and they'll learn.

I may be speaking too soon, but I feel like because I don't have to worry (as much) about how low my students are and how to get them to a 4th grade level in one year, I can be myself so much more. I felt like last year, I was always having to be on someone's case about getting to work, or not talking, or something. This year, I feel much nicer. I'm able to talk to my students like normal people, not like a teacher to students. I can mess around and be silly because I know they can get back on task quickly and really, because they are so much ahead of the students last year, it won't hurt them to be off task every once in awhile. I feel much more laid-back and I like that. Hopefully, I'm not speaking too soon and I can enjoy this part of teaching the whole year.

I already feel like I'm 10x a better teacher than I was last year. I find myself explaining things and while I do, I'm thinking to myself, "Man, I wish someone could see this, because that was the best way to explain that!" I feel like I have more time to have unplanned teaching moments that I really didn't have time for last year because there were other crucial things the kids needed to learn. I feel like I'm able to be a better teacher here because I don't have to worry about how far behind they are, and I can teach in the moment. It's refreshing, to say the least.

Overall, I'm happy about my move up to Alpine Elementary.

In some ways, I feel bad saying all this. It makes me think of all my wonderful friends and family who have been to Africa, South America, and even here in the States, in some low-income parts of cities, to serve people who need it the most. That's how I felt last year, like I was serving those kids who needed it the most. And now, here I am, talking about how refreshing it is to teach rich white kids. I know they still need teachers, but that's just what I mean when I say I feel bad saying all this. I don't know. I'm a bit confused by the situation really. I don't know how to feel. Any suggestions?

First Day

Well, another first day has come and gone! I feel like a pro and it's only my second time around!

It went really well today. I must say that it is completely different from my last school. I feel like this year will be a breeze compared to last year. I had so many low students in my class last year; it felt like I was teaching fourth grade material to kindergartens, and I pretty much was. Last year, my students didn't even know how to write a sentence. Last year, one of my students didn't know the answer to 2+1. Last year, I had 8 out of 24 students in Special Ed. Last year, I had trouble communicating with several parents because they didn't speak English.

Not so this year. I can already tell. I just gave my students a "What I Did This Summer" page with a small amount of space to write a paragraph. Most of my students turned the paper over and kept writing. Last year, I would have gotten 1 sentence, if that. It would be like pulling teeth just to get them to do things. This year, even the 3 Special Ed students, got right to work and did good work too!

All those things are great, but I hope that I can get the same satisfaction I got last year. I feel like I got to see so much progress with my students last year. They only had up to go and I got to see them get there. It was emotionally taxing to hear and learn about the home lives and their stories, but it made me love them more. I could be the one adult in their lives that cared for them and loved them. I'm not saying I can't be the same teacher to these students; I just feel like I won't have as big of an impact. I'll just be another teacher they had in Elementary School.

I want to make a difference. That's why I chose this profession. I hope that I can make that difference here. I just might have to do it in a different way!

School

It's all starting again. And I have been willing time to slow down. No success.

My first day was Friday and school starts Wednesday. Tonight is Back to School Night and I'm a bit nervous to meet parents. We had a bit of an issue on Friday when class lists were posted. Something happened with the computers and a lot of the lists weren't saved. The secretary didn't notice and when they were posted, parents were really upset when they didn't get the teachers they had requested. There were people constantly in the office, the phones were ringing off the hook and the principal and secretary were about ready to cry because of all the stress. Yeah, I'm a bit nervous to meet parents. Especially because none of them requested me because none of them knew me. So, I hope they aren't the ones that are upset about not getting the teacher they requested.

I feel a lot more physically prepared for the school year this year. I feel more comfortable about the curriculum and how I want things to be done but I am definitely not as mentally prepared as last year. Last year, it was all I could think about because I was so nervous. This year, I feel less stressed because I've done it before, but that means that I haven't thought about it as much. That may not be bad, but I can't really remember how I started the school year last year, what worked, and what didn't. So, it would be a really good idea for me to start thinking about school...seeing as it starts in 2 DAYS! I'm sure everything will be fine, but there are a lot of different variables this year. Parents, for one. Is it obvious I'm a little nervous about that? Yeah, we will see how that goes.

Movie Set

I have had quite a weekend...

For those of you who don't know, my brother Tyler is an aspiring movie maker. He's wanted to make movies since he knew that it was possible. And...he's really good. I'm not just saying it, either. I really think that he has as good a shot as anyone to make it and make it big.

He had a film shoot this last weekend from Thursday to Saturday and asked me to do all of the food for the actors/crew. Now, this doesn't seem like it would be that hard, and maybe it wasn't, but because Tyler is trying to be professional and legitimate, he wanted me to not only feed the 30+ people breakfast, lunch and dinner, but to take snacks out to them and make sure that they had enough water throughout the day. This meant a lot of walking, a lot of standing, and not a whole lot of relaxing!

One of the hardest things to deal with was the fact that we shot out in the middle of nowhere. No power, no stove, nothing. So, I had to find ways to cook hot meals (because Tyler wanted to keep his actors and crew happy) and serve them hot, when our shoots were 45 minutes away from any town. Luckily, my other brother and sister-in-law live in Springville (close to the Santaquin location we shot at) so I could drive the 45 minutes to cook meals and drive back. The hardest was breakfast though. Talk about having to be on set at 7:30 a.m., after having driven 45 minutes from Springville, after having cooked a hot meal. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep...I'm exhausted.

One other thing...it was all worth it.

I had a blast. The time of my life. It was so much fun. I got to be behind the scenes of a movie being made and it was by far the best movie my brother has ever made. They were able to get real actors, who were just so amazing, live horses, crazy equipment to work with, and a very talented crew. I was super impressed. I would just sit there watching a scene over and over again and every time I saw it, I would get chills up and down my arms. The actors didn't even have to change intonations or anything, it was just that amazing. The lead actor was pretty new at it all, but I told him that he must have been born with raw talent because he was incredible...One of the older actors was in "The Restoration" as Joseph Smith's dad and I couldn't even begin to tell you 1)how good he was and 2) how incredibly friendly and humble he was. It was great getting to know them.

I felt that way with every person I met. I was there for 3 days, but I felt as if these people were family. They were so nice and so helpful and just fun to talk to. I must say that after it was over last night, I felt a little let down. As exhausted, sore, stressed and sunburnt as I was, I wished that we could do it all over again next week. I hope this was not the first and last time I'm on a movie set. It was so amazing!